I liked my first day on mother/baby a lot. I got to see 2 discharges and then a mom who had just given birth in the morning get transferred onto our unit. I was really REALLY nervous about doing my mom assessment, so nervous I pretty much forgot what I was doing, but my clinical instructor saved the day. Now that I've seen it done twice, I'm really confident I can do it tomorrow. I've been reviewing what I have to do in my head over and over all day, and now that I saw my instructor do the assessment I know what she's looking for. The plan is that I have the same patient tomorrow as I did at the end of today (she was so sweet) so I think that will also facilitate my assessment experience. Now if my clinical instructor didn't make me so nervous...

I also saw a circumcision today. Let's just say I'm not jumping onto the midwife bandwagon just yet after seeing that procedure. Apparently, babies can sleep right through it. Not mine. This kid wasn't even quiet after we gave him sugar water, but for good reason! Sure it's numb, but you're all exposed. It must be a least a little uncomfortable! Poor little baby :( Maybe it will get easier to watch the more I see them, but this whole procedure freaked me out a little bit, even though there's not a lot of blood at all. Being totally honest, I was MUCH more enamored by the c-section, with blood/uterus/stitches/staples and all, than this procedure. Not my Achilles heel by any means (I'm still searching for that), but just not something I would want to perform every day that I'm on the floor.

So during my FOUR MILE RUN (!) today, I thought over and over about my assessment. At some points, I even forgot I was running since I was so freaked out about feeling a uterus again. But it was a good run. I was a little annoyed at first because my little voice only told me how far I had gone every mile and not every half like I was used to, but then I began to pretend to embrace it. Hopefully I'm not super sore tomorrow since I have to run 3. Woohoo!

Being a 7-7 baby, I think it's fantastic I got to meet a little baby that will grow up being a 9-9-09. I think those with triple numbers in their birthdays have a special kinship since someone always makes a comment about your date of birth. Mine, usually, is, "You must be so lucky!" Yes, I suppose I am, but I'd like to attribute at least part of my "luck" to my parents and to my own brain, thank you very much. Geeze. It's like people think you're born a smarty pants or something these days... :P

So Thursday I got to see a c-section, clean up an itty bitty newborn, give them a shot of vitamin K and dress and swaddle them all before they were an hour old :) I like OB so far. All of the nurses are nice, even though the floor can be pretty hectic. The day before, when we were at orientation, there were 17 births. For the next two weeks, I'll be on the postpartum side with the moms that have given birth within the last few days. There I'll get my own patient, hopefully for both days we're on the floor, and learn how to do a newborn and postpartum mom assessment. I did get to use a teeny weeny stethoscope, probably the size of a dime, on Thursday to listen to the baby's heart rate. It's hard to count! Hopefully during my two weeks I'll also learn how to give a baby a bath and become a diaper changing pro. Either way, babies make me happy even if they're screaming at the top of their lungs. If they're screaming, they're usually healthy! :)

I had two good days of 3 milers and I bump up to 4 on Wednesday. I 'officially' registered for the Nike+ Human 10k so now I feel like I have to do it. Luckily, I'm scheduled to do a 6 miler the day before the race, so I'll just switch my runs and do about a quarter mile extra on 10.24. I'm kind of attached to my daily(ish) run now. They'll be getting longer, but I think as long as I'm planning for it, I'll be fine. Eventually I might have to move indoors because my timing after clinical. Now it's not so bad, but if I get out late it could be horrendous. Plus, who wants to get up at 4 am to do a run in pitch darkness? Not I. I'll also have to see how long I last when it gets cold out. My running shoes are great, but they're mesh all along the top and sides. They breathe a lot better than my previous shoes, but at the same time I get soaked if it's raining. My plan is to do the 10k outside and then maybe move inside to the hospital gym when it gets really nasty. I can't believe I am already talking about running 6.2 miles, but I feel like I can do it! I'm not sure what my next step after that will be, especially since I just kind of am glossing over the 5k race, but I think a half marathon in the spring isn't totally out of the question. It could be my "victory lap". Oh, I'm so funny :)

We got the best present ever today - we didn't have to stay the whole time at orientation! Instead of a 13 hour day (followed by tomorrow which we have to be on the floor at 6:45 am... ugh), we got a normal (for us) one. Our floor has mandatory quiet hours, so the grand plan of splitting into our groups and doing orientation and then going to the floor totally failed. They also said they were being nice to us since we all had to go home and either finish or polish our 15 med cards due tomorrow. I thought I was done with those bad boys last night, but then it got sprung on us this morning that we had to have all possible doses/routes/reasons why our patient would have that drug. Excessive, but it's supposed to make us better at tests/NCLEX/life. We probably won't pass meds this rotation since the moms can give themselves their own medicine, but it's always a possibility.

Tomorrow I'll be in labor and delivery if our schedule stays the same. I'm super excited because I 1) have never seen a live birth (section or vaginal) and 2) I get to look like a big nurse and wear blue scrubs! (!!!!!!!!!!!) The later is probably the more exciting thing for me. So I have to put on my uniform (again) only to have to change once I get to the floor. I'm nervous but pumped for this rotation. I haven't held a baby, much less a VERY newborn, in a long time! At least a couple years I think. Doing my first assessment of a baby will probably be scary, but swaddling I think I'll have down since I tend to wrap myself up like that even now. Maybe I'm a baby in disguise? Something to think about. My clinical instructor is amazing and our "partner" rotation group that comes on after us has a great instructor too. He revealed another secret about Wegmans today - apparently you can print out a shopping list that includes aisle numbers from their website. I might have to use that if I ever venture back to the warehouse Wegmans in Pittsford.

Time to read up on the stages of labor so I can be prepared for tomorrow!

Back to school, back to school

We are officially starting our second third of the program. I had my first women's health lecture today and I think I'll really like that class a lot. Women's health is much more family focused now, especially for labor and delivery, and it will be interesting to see if what we have had to read matches up with how it's put into practice. Clinicals start tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be good at communicating with women in labor and not just patients with every other ailment under the sun - it could be a long 5 weeks if I can't! I was very happy to see all of my friends again after almost 3 weeks of escaping to other parts of New England. It's weird that we're split into two groups now and not always together, but I guess it had to happen at some point.

I have started to legitimately run. For me, it's a big undertaking, but I have a pretty nifty support person who also does not consider herself "a runner" so I feel like I can do it too. I got the Nike+ sensor since our iTouches are already loaded with Nike+ anyway. I need to calibrate it, but the fact that I'm going as far as I plan to when I start the run, and sometimes over my goal, is good enough for me. I started a training plan through the website, so the schedule also helps me do it. It might get harder when I have a long day of clinical, but I have started to find running relaxing... which is scary. I'm sure it's a good thing in the long run (HA! Pun!), but it's a strange concept to think about.

I am sure I'll have more stories by the end of the week. Hopefully all of the babies I get to see are healthy!

Go big or go home.

I have been a poor updater, but that's because life is so great!! :) I LOVE acute care and I have had the best patients I could've ever dreamed of. I've gotten to do a lot of things that I thought I could never do, including (today!) a rectal suppository. I started giving shots yesterday, a current total of 2 have been done, and have been able to tube feed, do trach care (dressing changes and that type of stuff) and I've really improved on therapeutic communication. Part of my improvement with TC is that I have felt a genuine connection with my patients - it was something I had to learn how to separate from any other tie I have forged with another person. To me, it's so COOL that they're letting me help them get to a better place in life. Obviously that doesn't always happen, but that's always the intent and I think I've gotten good at communicating that. I used a trick that my mom got from my great aunt that she used on me when I had a tummy ache when I was little. My patient seemed to appreciate that I was always in her room and that she finally had some human contact that wasn't just about poking and prodding her.

I find what I am doing in clinical is really rewarding. At some point I'll have a bad day, but one of our nurses told us that the important part is that you did the best you could that day for that patient - that's all they really expect of you. Sometimes their families want more, but sometimes their families are more than happy to share their own stories with you. We had a group of 3 sisters this week on the floor - 2 were always with the third one, our patient. One was a retired nurse from the Navy, another was a pharmacist and the third was a bookkeeper. They were more than happy to explain all the things they brought for their sister to have in her room, tell us about the drugs that their sister was taking and how their family is full of doctors and nurses. The patient (the nurse) even called all of us into her room so we could listen to her heart and lungs. They really were the living Golden Girls! I am sure than when I am old and batty (probably with a UTI), Stace-face will be perched near my bed with some ridiculous picture of us, probably the one where she has a pot belly since that is my favorite :)

One of my goals today was to get the nasal feeding tube out of my patient. It had been discontinued since the feeding tube through her belly was approved yesterday, but she hadn't let anyone take it out. She had told me it was irritating to her, so I kind of made it my crusade for the day (especially since I wasn't sure if I could get her constipation cleared up by the end of my shift). I felt like I was pestering my nurse and my instructor to get this thing out, but eventually I pestered enough to get it done before I left. Even though my patient had finally relaxed a little and gotten to sleep before, it was my little victory knowing that I had advocated for her like our instructors keep telling us to do. All I hear is "As a nurse, you are a patient advocate". Well, duh, listen to your student nurse because this is what the patient AND the orders are saying to do! Just because she didn't let someone take it out yesterday at 3 pm doesn't mean that 16 hours later she will still refuse! I am hoping my ability to not blindly follow directions will never leave me - I should just quit nursing if that ever does happen - because if I don't take the time to listen to a patient before I "give up" on them, what's the point of trying to help? It's tough to take the time to get to know every patient you have when you are taking care of 5, but I think that if I know at least 5 things about each patient it would help me in my own practice to keep them human. Some of the charts are unbelievably thick. This person, on paper, is 300 orders deep because of their length of stay within the hospital. If all they are to you is Room 12345, bed A, I don't think you're doing it right. It could just be me. I mean, that's why I chose to do nursing - getting to know and assist a patient in a way that is far beyon medication is what I want to do. They only other way I could see this happening is through counseling or spiritual life, neither of which I am called for (I'm already crazy and I'm a mostly delinquent Catholic).

So that's my soapbox speech about patient care and the essence of nursing. Suuure, I've had a month in the clinical setting. Go ahead and discount my opinion. That is my own moral code that I choose to base my practice off of. I happen to think it's fabulous. Besides, if I just wrote all of that out and didn't believe in it, that'd be kind of silly.

I'm not totally sure how that tangent started, but anyway...

I have some pretty great friends here :) Clearly I can't pick favorites, but my "twin" and the rest of my clinical group are pretty amazing. I like that we all get along well in and outside of clinical, plus we are all trying to support one another. 3 out of 8 played basketball with our resident baller plus about 10 others from our program (!!!!!!!!) on Tuesday, and it was really fun! (I made one basket... pretty sure I am still not a baller. Sorry, Dana.) Kathleen and I hit up the public market Tuesday morning and I picked up some plants to transport home. One is a pink gerenium (however you spell it) and the other one's a daredevil I think. Either way, I feel like a pretty decent granddaughter at this point.

I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up, but I am pushing for a kitten for my parents. A horrible gift choice? Yes. A rewarding gift choice? YEEEES! I am hoping it's a go, pretty much because I love those little balls of fluff, but we will have to see. I may have won over my mom, but my dad will be a tougher sell I think. It depends on how he is feeling on the day whether or not her really misses our cat. A puppy would be a tougher sell to my mom though. I'll stick with the smaller animal...

Yes, I have an exam tomorrow morning at 8 am. No, I have not studied for it yet. I'm sure it will all be fine in the end.

Secrets, secrets

I made it!! I am really quite happy with my life (even if I am cranky and wish there was a kickboxing class close by, I am still usually happy). My clinical group is fun and I think we have a nice little solidarity going on. I feel like we're probably the coolest group, but I guess everyone's perspective on that would be a little different. Anyway, I like them and they make me happy even if we are all having crap-tastic days. I have a big stack of alcohol wipes on my desk since they just seem to accumulate in my pockets as the days go on. Maybe I'm becoming a germ freak? You would think I'd quit picking at my nails if that was actually the case, but maybe that's a development later on.

So I saw this PostSecret awhile ago that was a list a woman made about the men she knew.
Naturally, I love this. It's clever, kind of hilarious and unexpected.... and I have decided to try my hand at this. I dare you to hazard a guess who I am talking about, but I'll try to be sneaky! (Note: Work in progress... I really do want mine to be clever! Maybe then I will color code them and make them pretty)

• I have never been more excited to never see someone again... except once.
• Our search for Cadbury Eggs was probably one of my favorite nights in college, minus the Strongbow hunt in BevMo.
• You have no idea what you did for me. I probably love you.
• You're kind of awkward. I kind of like it.
• I have way better friends than you ever will.
• For being so "smart," you're kind of pathetic when it comes to living your life.
  
• I missed our big Thanksgiving shebang this year.
  
• While I appreciate your child-like heart from a distance, it was too overwhelming close up.
• You're still a sexist pig.
• Seriously, why do you still call me? I'm confused.
  
• Given the chance, I would legitimately fight you (and win!) - you're not as great as you think you are (at anything!).
• You'd be cute if you had a personality. It is a loss for humanity.

:) That was kind of cathartic.

I am such a delinquent! I always think about writing but then I either nap, go to bed or do work. Or snack, but that's more of a constant struggle. Anyway, we are finished with long term care and I secretly liked it a lot. I spent my last two days on a locked dementia unit and I feel like I learned a lot about communication from my patient. I am very thankful for him :) I can see how working with those patients, though, can be draining. Some of them can become physically and verbally abusive and it's not something they have control over so you know they don't really mean it. I think our last day that wear and tear set in on us, at least the group that was in the back, and we were all a little down :( It was an overall great experience and I am happy that we survived. This week we start in acute care and our floor is a short stay medical-surgical floor. I hope I get to watch a couple procedures! I am sure this will be more fast paced, so I hope I can make the walk home after we're done.

Last week we also finished up two more classes - pathophysiology/pharmacology and genetics. I really liked our patho professor and we get to have her again for case study stuff in our med-surg class (I have it in the spring). We also register for fall classes on Friday, so I met with my advisor today to sign my degree plan. I'm going to try to get the early lab, probably the 8 am, so then I'll make myself go to the gym afterwards. My advisor said it's probably not a bad idea since our days will be long as it is. I have women's health/OB/peds in the fall as well as psyc, so I think that I will have lots of fun with those rotations. I also have met with one of my professors that does pediatric sleep research and I will be working with her for the rest of the year. She's so low key that I'm sure it will be a fun experience even if we don't really get to help with the study itself. I am excited to see what a sleep lab looks like, especially for kids, and learn more about this little pocket of science. She's also been a great resource for me about PhD programs, so I am also very thankful for her :)

[Begin soapbox] We went to the pride parade on Saturday with some of our friends from class and it was really fun! At the end we all got to march in the parade (I guess that's what happens all the time - everyone just joins in at the end) and we turned a corner to find a whole bunch of protestors. I thought I had some idea of what that experience was like, but I was wrong. As a straight person, I was totally offended/shocked/surprised that people so "Christian" would pass such an extreme judgement on another group of people. Kind of reminds me of Paul's letters, those ones that tell women to be quiet and people not to get married unless they have to (you know, the ones no one actually reads?), since at that point Christians were the outcasts of society. I don't know, it seems counter productive to be blatantly judgemental and cruel when you're supposed to be the light of the world. I'm still not totally sure how using Jesus's love as a weapon is one of the cornerstone's of Christianity, but I don't think that's something I'll ever understand. Maybe it is my inner peaceful-love everybody-"hippie" Vermonter. One of the friends I was walking with went up to a protestor holding a sign that said something like "Ask me why you're going to hell" and told him that Jesus loved him. My personal favorite is a photo I saw on a website (maybe Perez Hilton?) that had someone protesting the passage of Prop 8 holding a sign that said, "Jesus said LOVE, bitches!" :) Pretty sure that person was/is right... [end of soapbox]

My transition to my new surroundings hasn't been extremely difficult... except for when I am wandering around trying to figure out why I cannot find the people I used to talk to every day for the last 4 years. Then it gets hard. So I guess that's why God made us smart enough to have cell phones and texting :) There are only a few constants in my day, but I am always glad to have them: breathing, eating, sleeping (even a little) and encouragement from Cassan. :)